Naughty or Nice...You Decide!

Monkeyboy loves the holidays. I had no idea what I was missing! Sitting there on the desk, I wondered what the hub bub was all about. The endless stream of candy, greeting cards and well wishers was somewhat of a mystery to me. Now I get it, and I am all for it.


I love Santa. Did you know he gives FREE presents?? I was going to try and get to the North Pole, but it seemed a bit of a stretch for a tropical creature such as myself. Then, I realized that I could see Santa right downtown Minneapolis (or St. Paul, or Edina or Roseville - anywhere there is a "dale"). What a wonderful man he is. Mrs Claus is quite a nice lady, too.







I have to say I was taken aback when he told me about the Naughty/Nice list! What I have done these past few months is pretty naughty to some folks. So I had a few laughs, got in a bit of trouble and pissed a few people off. What can I say? You would do the same if you had been held hostage on a reception desk for as long as I have. I just hope my shenanigans did not get me on the dreaded "naughty" list. I have repented for all my transgressions, so I sincerely hope to find some really great swag under the tree on Christmas morning.

Monkeyboy Gets Political

Well, it has been a long time since my last post friends. It has been a whirlwind of activity, and I finally have some time to connect with my adoring fans. As you can see, I made another new friend. Yes, folks, it is the Governor of our fair state, Tim Pawlenty himself. I bet you thought apes didn't give a hoot about politics. Wrong, my fair-skinned and furless friends. I followed the elections and really tried to get myself involved for the sake of all the animals out there. I marched, protested, supported, and generally campaigned my butt off. It was quite a learning experience. For instance, did you realize that Gorillas are not allowed to vote? Can you even believe that? What the heck (or WTF as you crazy kids like to say). Like we aren't one little link removed from you humans. Well, anyway, I did my best to make a difference, and met a lot of interesting people along the way. By the way, I didn't have the heart to tell my friend Tim that I am a Democrat. I hope he is not mad. Oh well, I guess we didn't have that much in common afterall.

Up next? Well, let's just say that after all of that Polical mumbo jumbo, I need to move to some more lighthearted activities. I am starting to get into the holiday spirit...

Monkeyboy Fights a Fire!

Since I had so much fun with the Police, I thought I should check out the happenings at the local firehouse. As you can see, they welcomed me with open arms. Once again, I have my opposable thumbs to thank for that. I don’t think it would have been as easy if I didn’t have those.





I feel so at home driving the big rig (even though my feet don’t touch the pedals). And the axes and hoses and other tools really make me feel like a real man. It is about time I put my brains and brawn to good use. And chicks really dig firefighters. What is that all about?



I have made fast friends with all the firefighters, and even the Chief. I have been accused of brown nosing, but really I think it has more to do with the fabulous chili I have been making for the gang down at the station. I am becoming such a multi-faceted ape, don’t you think? The wonders of the world outside never cease to amaze me.



As you can see, I have made a lot of great friends thanks to my new career. Who knew firefighters could be so fun!! Not to worry about all the smoking, drinking and gambling. Everything in moderation, sister. That is my motto.



Now, I must go tune into CNN and watch for the voting results. GO OBAMA!!!

Monkeyboy Learns A Lesson

Hello fellow bloggers. I know you have probably been missing my fun, lighthearted adventures. As you can see, I have been detained - literally.



What can I tell you...we had a little misunderstanding. It is hard being a primate, and not knowing exactly what is and is not acceptable behavior in public. Geez, you throw a bit of poo around, and everyone gets all bent out of shape. I won't go into the ugly details, but let's just say I have learned some hard lessons.



I don't think my discretions will go down on my permanent record. I did some quick talking, and got myself some expert legal assistance, and managed to get through it with my ego, and my sqeaky clean record intact. As a matter of fact, by the time I left the station, I was an honorary member of the force. They need a few more strong, hairy-knuckled type of guys around there.



I will do my best to stay out of trouble from here on out. No more hitchhiking, carousing, loitering, harassing, etc. I have experienced the backseat of a squad car, and it stinks - literally. I love this education...I think they call it the school of hard knocks.

Monkeyboy Goes Camping

Monkeyboy loves to camp! These fine park rangers helped me out and found me a lovely campsite near the river. The other campers were a little taken aback having to camp next to a gorilla, but after I introduced myself, all was good. I kept all the bears and racoons at bay, so everyone was happy to have me around. I even had my first s'more. I do not recommend eating these with a full face of fur. The result is a hairy, sticky, marshmallowey mess.


After a quick study of the map, I was off on a hike. What a lovely way to spend the day. And I didn't have to worry about Giraffes and Elephants getting in my way like back at home. Just a monkey, on a sojourn, communing with nature. It brings to mind one of my favorite poems by Robert Frost...."two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and sorry I could not travel both, and be one traveler long I stood..." I bet none of you knew I was so into poetry. You are learning a lot of new things about this ape!!


Next, I was off to canoe the river. Once I figured out how to steer the dang canoe, I was on my way. A powerful Gorilla paddling a little canoe is like a 25 HP motor! You should have seen the wake. I could have pulled a waterskier.



All good things must come to an end, so it was time for Monkeyboy to move on. You just never know where I will show up next.

Happy Birthday to My Master Jen!

Monkeyboy wanted to give a shout out to my beloved master, Jen today on her 46th Birthday. Even though I am not there to celebrate in person, I did not forget your big day. I hope by now you have gotten the special delivery I personally made for you. Have a wonderful birthday, and stay in touch.
Love and Bananas,
Monkeyboy

Monkeyboy Goes Bowling!

The dreary weekend did not drag Monkeyboy down. What fun I had at the lanes. I may just join a league.



Thank goodness for electronic scoring. Strikes, spares, turkeys, splits. It is all way too confusing for this guy. But, by the end (even after a few beers), I had it all down.



I was a little unsure about the shoes, but the guy behind the counter assured me that it was safe and sanitary. I do think I look very dapper in these little numbers.