Naughty or Nice...You Decide!

Monkeyboy loves the holidays. I had no idea what I was missing! Sitting there on the desk, I wondered what the hub bub was all about. The endless stream of candy, greeting cards and well wishers was somewhat of a mystery to me. Now I get it, and I am all for it.


I love Santa. Did you know he gives FREE presents?? I was going to try and get to the North Pole, but it seemed a bit of a stretch for a tropical creature such as myself. Then, I realized that I could see Santa right downtown Minneapolis (or St. Paul, or Edina or Roseville - anywhere there is a "dale"). What a wonderful man he is. Mrs Claus is quite a nice lady, too.







I have to say I was taken aback when he told me about the Naughty/Nice list! What I have done these past few months is pretty naughty to some folks. So I had a few laughs, got in a bit of trouble and pissed a few people off. What can I say? You would do the same if you had been held hostage on a reception desk for as long as I have. I just hope my shenanigans did not get me on the dreaded "naughty" list. I have repented for all my transgressions, so I sincerely hope to find some really great swag under the tree on Christmas morning.

Monkeyboy Gets Political

Well, it has been a long time since my last post friends. It has been a whirlwind of activity, and I finally have some time to connect with my adoring fans. As you can see, I made another new friend. Yes, folks, it is the Governor of our fair state, Tim Pawlenty himself. I bet you thought apes didn't give a hoot about politics. Wrong, my fair-skinned and furless friends. I followed the elections and really tried to get myself involved for the sake of all the animals out there. I marched, protested, supported, and generally campaigned my butt off. It was quite a learning experience. For instance, did you realize that Gorillas are not allowed to vote? Can you even believe that? What the heck (or WTF as you crazy kids like to say). Like we aren't one little link removed from you humans. Well, anyway, I did my best to make a difference, and met a lot of interesting people along the way. By the way, I didn't have the heart to tell my friend Tim that I am a Democrat. I hope he is not mad. Oh well, I guess we didn't have that much in common afterall.

Up next? Well, let's just say that after all of that Polical mumbo jumbo, I need to move to some more lighthearted activities. I am starting to get into the holiday spirit...

Monkeyboy Fights a Fire!

Since I had so much fun with the Police, I thought I should check out the happenings at the local firehouse. As you can see, they welcomed me with open arms. Once again, I have my opposable thumbs to thank for that. I don’t think it would have been as easy if I didn’t have those.





I feel so at home driving the big rig (even though my feet don’t touch the pedals). And the axes and hoses and other tools really make me feel like a real man. It is about time I put my brains and brawn to good use. And chicks really dig firefighters. What is that all about?



I have made fast friends with all the firefighters, and even the Chief. I have been accused of brown nosing, but really I think it has more to do with the fabulous chili I have been making for the gang down at the station. I am becoming such a multi-faceted ape, don’t you think? The wonders of the world outside never cease to amaze me.



As you can see, I have made a lot of great friends thanks to my new career. Who knew firefighters could be so fun!! Not to worry about all the smoking, drinking and gambling. Everything in moderation, sister. That is my motto.



Now, I must go tune into CNN and watch for the voting results. GO OBAMA!!!

Monkeyboy Learns A Lesson

Hello fellow bloggers. I know you have probably been missing my fun, lighthearted adventures. As you can see, I have been detained - literally.



What can I tell you...we had a little misunderstanding. It is hard being a primate, and not knowing exactly what is and is not acceptable behavior in public. Geez, you throw a bit of poo around, and everyone gets all bent out of shape. I won't go into the ugly details, but let's just say I have learned some hard lessons.



I don't think my discretions will go down on my permanent record. I did some quick talking, and got myself some expert legal assistance, and managed to get through it with my ego, and my sqeaky clean record intact. As a matter of fact, by the time I left the station, I was an honorary member of the force. They need a few more strong, hairy-knuckled type of guys around there.



I will do my best to stay out of trouble from here on out. No more hitchhiking, carousing, loitering, harassing, etc. I have experienced the backseat of a squad car, and it stinks - literally. I love this education...I think they call it the school of hard knocks.

Monkeyboy Goes Camping

Monkeyboy loves to camp! These fine park rangers helped me out and found me a lovely campsite near the river. The other campers were a little taken aback having to camp next to a gorilla, but after I introduced myself, all was good. I kept all the bears and racoons at bay, so everyone was happy to have me around. I even had my first s'more. I do not recommend eating these with a full face of fur. The result is a hairy, sticky, marshmallowey mess.


After a quick study of the map, I was off on a hike. What a lovely way to spend the day. And I didn't have to worry about Giraffes and Elephants getting in my way like back at home. Just a monkey, on a sojourn, communing with nature. It brings to mind one of my favorite poems by Robert Frost...."two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and sorry I could not travel both, and be one traveler long I stood..." I bet none of you knew I was so into poetry. You are learning a lot of new things about this ape!!


Next, I was off to canoe the river. Once I figured out how to steer the dang canoe, I was on my way. A powerful Gorilla paddling a little canoe is like a 25 HP motor! You should have seen the wake. I could have pulled a waterskier.



All good things must come to an end, so it was time for Monkeyboy to move on. You just never know where I will show up next.

Happy Birthday to My Master Jen!

Monkeyboy wanted to give a shout out to my beloved master, Jen today on her 46th Birthday. Even though I am not there to celebrate in person, I did not forget your big day. I hope by now you have gotten the special delivery I personally made for you. Have a wonderful birthday, and stay in touch.
Love and Bananas,
Monkeyboy

Monkeyboy Goes Bowling!

The dreary weekend did not drag Monkeyboy down. What fun I had at the lanes. I may just join a league.



Thank goodness for electronic scoring. Strikes, spares, turkeys, splits. It is all way too confusing for this guy. But, by the end (even after a few beers), I had it all down.



I was a little unsure about the shoes, but the guy behind the counter assured me that it was safe and sanitary. I do think I look very dapper in these little numbers.

A busy weekend at home for Monkeyboy!

Wow, there is so much to learn. I tried out Rollerblading, but that just didn't work out for me. My knuckles got all scraped up from dragging on the ground. But, I did not get discouraged. Instead, I learned to ride a bike - a two wheeler - all by myself. I am no Greg LeMond, but hey, I gave it a shot.



I also entertained some "wild" friends. This is an old pal from my old stomping grounds. He turned out to be quite stiff and boring, however. It seems that I have really grown in ways that I never thought imaginable. I am just not satisfied hanging out with the same old unintellectual crowd. I have seen and done things they have only read about. I guess you could say I have evolved.



After all of that, I was simply exhausted. Nothing like a good old bubble bath to wind down after an exciting weekend. I know that we have a bad reputation for stinking to high heaven, but that really is an unfortunate stereotype. I like a good scrubbing bubble bath as much as the next guy.

Monkeyboy and Jen Get Down!

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Monkeyboy Enjoys the Labor Day Holiday

I was hoping to make it to the State Fair, but this monkey has been on the go for so long that the exhaustion has set in. I decided to just have a nice, relaxing holiday weekend doing the things I love to do. Here are some of the highlights.

First of all, I spent a lot of time playing backyard basketball. Just call me air monkey. Those buffoons I was playing with had no idea what they were dealing with. Look out Harlem Globetrotters, here comes Monkeyboy.



After all that activity, I just decided to do what I (and my master, Jennifer) love to do most. Read and smoke! There is nothing like a pairing of Marlboro Lights and a fabulous novel. What could be better?



I ended the holiday with a Labor Day barbeque. Everything was delicious. Hamburgers for the Homo Sapiens, grilled banana for Monkeyboy. It is especially good with a cold Banana Foster. What a great weekend. I am resting up for my next adventure. Stay tuned for more adventures of Monkeyboy!!

Ahoy Matey!

Hello Again from the Blogoshpere. Thank goodness for opposable thumbs, or none of this would be possible. I am here to tell you about my most recent adventure.





I chartered a boat and had all my friends out for a day of fun on the water. Hijinx on the high seas as you can see by the photos. Monkeyboy was the captain as you can see by my nifty uniform. Gorillas really are more talented than we get credit for. I was saddened by my brothers at the zoo. All they do is lay around, pick their nose and throw poo. Not this monkey - I have my sights set quite a bit higher.



I enjoyed quite a few cold beverages after my three hour tour.



I even made friends with the Ducks. They are a bit too eager if you ask me.





What is next for Monkeyboy you ask? You will just have to keep checking back periodically to see for yourself. One day, I may be back. I just can't say when. I hope everyone at the office is doing well.

Yours truly,
Monkeyboy

Bon Voyage My Little Friend

At first I was very upset by my immediate replacement. I am a gorilla...I am strong, fierce, smart, and have been a very good sport...sitting there all day in my sunglasses and necktie (with a nice coat of dust covering my luxurious fur).

Within a day, you had replaced me with that damn Lemur, or Gibbon or whatever the heck that thing is. My immediate reaction (besides thinking you didn't miss me) was..."pfft..who is THAT? he is dumb monkey that plays with poo, doesn't understand simple instructions and who would look just plain silly in any corporate gear you try to put on him.

But all of that has changed. Somehow he found his way to me. Someone at the office thought I needed a friend and sent him in search of me. After a wonderful night together, I realized that I need to make this journey alone. Life it too crazy out here for 2 monkeys trying to find their way. This is a job for a gorilla...not monkey business.

But, I will say....I will miss him. Take good care of him until I return. Maybe someday he'll get to experience the things I'm experiencing, but for now...he needs to guard my spot and collect a little dust (and, not to mention he's quite upset he missed "trail mix day" at the office).

Take care my little friend...I enjoyed the time we spent together.

Saints Game

So, didn't you know that monkeys like baseball too? How come you never let me know when there are extra tickets to games?

Anyway, I'm back in town, but I just am not ready to come back to the corporate world up there on 27. I decided that the North Woods really isn't for me. As much as I like the outdoors, I guess I am a city boy at heart. You can't even get a decent cup of coffee in Northern Minnesota. Have they not heard of Starbucks?? So, anyway, I decided to take in a Saints game. Boy was that fun. I was like a celebrity there. You'd think none of these people had ever seen a Gorilla before. And what is with all the kissing. At least it was a girl this time.

One of my buddies from the bullpen.



Monkeyboy at his first Saints game. I don't even remember if they won or lost.



Another buddy - the beer vendor. I got to know him pretty well as you can see.



I am blushing - can you tell?



Sister Rosalind gives a mean massage. She gave me a discount because I was such an unusual client.



I think this is the bear that !@#$ in the woods. He must have followed me home from up North. Yikes.

Day 1 In Blogville - With Additional History

So, I'm trying out this new technology. I kept hearing people at the office talking about the latest new trends in technology, so I thought I'd give it a try. Those tech dudes were right! It's quite handy. Now you and all of your friends can keep tabs on me anytime. I'll try to post often, but there are just so many fun things to see.
I'm still not sure when I'll be back...I still have a few more things to see and do.

I ran into these guys. I was so excited to finally see the good ol' rellies.
Upon trying to get a closer sniff....i realized they were trapped in!!!! NO THANK YOU! I'm out of there.



There are moles to whack and molds to be made. What a crazy place.




Anyway, make sure to check here once in awhile if your curious about what I'm up to!!!

Monkey Boy Goes Ape - The Early Days of Freedom

After escaping from the Corporate World of the IDS tower in Minneapolis, I began my sojourn with a trip to the Northland. I relished the freedom, saw some great things, and made some new friends.

I learned that most drivers are very eager to pick up a hitchiking Gorilla!



The big fish in Garrison was my first stop.



I chased after Jen in Longville, but couldn't find her anywhere.



Next stop, Deerwood. Where do they get these wierd things! Good thing I am so agile, and able to climb up with no problem.



The bathroom facilities in these parts leave much to be desired. I found out that indeed, bears do !@#$ in the woods. If it is good enough for them, it is good enough for me!



Somewhere along the way, I befriended a cop. St. Paul's finest.



I enjoy reading the paper now and again. This is to prove that I am really gone, but still alive. There was some concern early on that it was all some sort of cruel joke.



Easy Rider goes bananas.



For a brief time, I considered running away and joining the circus. Then, I came to, and realized that that could possibly be worse than the corporate world.